10. We'll be on time, every time!

9. We'll be on time.

8. The production of Envoy involves no animal testing.

7. Subscribe, and Dr Scott Hahn will come to your home and personally wash your car!

6. Double your money back if not satisfied with Top Ten lists.

5. A subscription to Envoy will clear up that pesky rash.

4. Free bag of leeches with each paid subscription.

3. $1 of each subscription goes to the "Convert Manuel Noriega" Fund.

2. We'll try to be on time.

1. A Rose Garden