10. Let's keep the next one thousand years Reformation-free!

9. Pretty soon, Gen-Xers will be able to say "I remember, back in aught-five…"

8. If the world doesn't end soon, Hal Lindsey is gonna have to buy himself a new career.

7. Now that it's 1999, I wonder how the Artist Formerly Known as Prince is actually partying.

6. Welcome to the Third Millennium. Now, go evangelize.

5. Okay, people. No disco this time.

4. It's the New Millennium! It'll be hard to screw up any worse than we did in the last one.

3. 01/01/00…uh, oh!

2. Wake up and smell the burning embers of civilization as you knew it.

1. I promised you a "Springtime" not a rose garden.