Ann is a practicing Catholic who works in a property management office. Two years ago, Rhonda, one of her coworkers, was pregnant with a child diagnosed with a degenerative spinal condition. On the recommendation of her doctor, she aborted the child at 5 months. Ann has just learned that Rhonda is again pregnant with a child suffering from the same condition. Her friend intends to abort this child as well. As an agnostic, Rhonda has no religious beliefs or firm moral code. What should Ann do? What would you do?

Margaret Smith, e-mail

Michelle Arnold, San Diego, CA

I’d tell Rhonda that her situation is like the women who are now aborting their babies because they want to have a baby on the new millennium. In both situations, the new human being in the mother’s womb isn’t even being considered a human being. Instead, it’s something that can be annihilated at will, just because it doesn’t fit into the parent’s bubble world of how they think things should be. I’d tell Rhonda she needs to come to her senses, and that she shouldn’t commit another sin of abortion - it’s murder! She has the obligation to be a loving mother to her child in the womb and after birth, no matter what defects her child may have, because human life and happiness don’t always mean being in perfect human condition and health. No woman has the right to have an abortion, under any circumstances, even if the mother’s life is at stake. Murder is always wrong, no matter which way you look at it.

I’m a seminarian for the Sioux Falls Diocese, and while on a retreat, a group of us watched a video of the slaughter of a human person at five months. When our Holy Father says abortion is the most cruel kind of murder, he’s absolutely right. There’s nothing more cruel than the murder of an innocent little human in the womb of his own mother, and then seeing his dead little arms and legs and torso stacked on a counter like a pile of garbage. By the grace of God, abortion will end one day.

Grant Croft, e-mail

Not having religious beliefs to guide her, Rhonda might not be able to relate to Ann’s religious or moral objections to abortion. She’s influenced by her doctor’s recommendation and society’s acceptance of abortion - especially where serious birth defects are involved. She may believe she’s doing the right and loving thing by not bringing a child into the world who would suffer much. Or, she may feel she has no other choice but to abort.

In privacy, Ann should lovingly express concern for Rhonda and her baby. After gaining her confidence, she can ask how her previous abortion affected her. If Rhonda expresses regret or guilt, Ann should encourage her to vent her pent-up, unexpressed, painful emotions - all the while, listening with sympathy and compassion. Using that opportunity to suggest alternatives to abortion, Ann can offer practical and moral support. She should share true stories about friends and relatives who chose to keep, love and care for their babies and who received enormous love and happiness in return. Rhonda might be especially affected by inspirational stories about babies who proved the dire medical prognosis wrong or who overcame them. Conversely, Ann needs to warn her about the complications and dangers of repeated abortions - physically, emotionally and spiritually. If Rhonda thinks she’s sparing her baby a life of pain and suffering, Ann should ask her to consider the terrible pain her baby would experience during the abortion. By giving her the facts in a loving manner, Ann can offer hope and help so her friend will choose life.

If Rhonda insists on aborting, Ann needs to let her know that she cannot support her in taking an innocent life, but that she would continue to care about her and would pray for her and her babies. Keeping the door of friendship and communication open will give Rhonda some place to go if she has a change of heart or needs guidance.

Mary Jo Paul, Gaithersburg, MD

Next Issue’s Scenario

Tom is on his way to church one snowy Sunday afternoon. A late sleeper, he always attends the last Mass offered by his small town church. While pulling into the parking lot, he notices a man trying desperately to push his car out of a snowbank, where it had obviously slid. The man is enormously grateful as Tom moves to help him. After pushing for several minutes, Tom realizes the job is going to require a good bit of work, and Mass begins in mere moments. If he continues helping, he risks missing the last Mass of the day. However, if he leaves, the man will be unable to dig his car out, and may be scandalized by Tom’s sudden departure. What should Tom do? What would you do?