What Would You Do? - Our Readers

Rick Gets Rooked
What would you do in this situation? Readers solve the dilemma.

The scenario:
Rick and Michelle have been married for 10 years. They're both in their early 30s and have three young children. A year ago, in spite of Rick's strong objections, Michelle began studying with Jehovah's Witnesses after they visited her at home one day. After months of seesawing between the Catholic Church and the Watchtower, she decided to become a JW.

Now strife reigns in their home. She refuses to allow the children to celebrate their birthdays, say Catholic prayers in her presence, or celebrate Christmas (JWs denounce these practices as "satanic"), and she threw away the crucifix they were given by her parents on their wedding day. Rick is standing fast in his Catholic Faith and isn't allowing the children to receive JW indoctrination, but he's bewildered as to what he should do next to try to help Michelle. What should he do? What would you do?

I'd start everything with prayer. Besides asking as many people as possible to pray for Michelle, I would start a special prayer campaign for her that included daily rosary, Mass and Communion, and 15 minutes of daily meditation on Scripture, probably the Gospels, while petitioning the Holy Spirit to help her see the truth.

I'd show her as much love and consideration as possible, showing her through my actions that I love her, even though she is doing something that is detrimental to our marriage. I would work hard to be the best, most loving husband I could. A hidden danger here is that if Michelle gets too deeply involved with the Watchtower, she may find herself being advised by the JWs to seek a divorce and find a "good JW husband." I know this happens, because it happened to a Catholic friend of mine.

I'd also flood our home with strategically placed good Catholic books and tapes (especially ones dealing with the errors of the Watchtower), and I'd invite dynamic, apostolic priests and good Catholic couples to our home for dinner as often as possible. This would increase her exposure to orthodoxy in a friendly setting.

As for the children, it's important that Rick continue strengthening their Catholic Faith and immunizing them against JW errors, while avoiding (and this is tricky, but it can be done) giving them the impression that he is "knocking" their mom.

I'd also emulate the JWs by starting a weekly Bible study in our home, led by a Catholic apologist if possible (or using tapes of apologetics talks or Bible studies), and focusing on the specific areas of the Faith that Michelle has rejected (eg. the Trinity, hell, the divinity of Christ). And I'd be sure to ask Michelle to sit in on these studies.

I'd also study up on the JWs' history and beliefs so I'd know how to poke holes in the anti-Catholic arguments Michelle fell for, and now and then I'd take along a knowledgeable Catholic friend (someone who's sharp biblically and historically) with me to the meetings at the Kingdom Hall where Michelle is involved, and show her that the Catholic Church's teachings can stand up to the test, and that the Witnesses' arguments can't.
Michael S., Denver, CO

When Rick and Michelle got married, it was under the auspices of the teachings of the Catholic Church. Michelle rejects those teachings now, as is her right. However, the children are not hers only, but the fruit of a union that was blessed by the Church. She freely consented to the vows, and these vows included the implicit understanding that future children would be raised Catholic.

If I were Rick, I would approach Michelle in the spirit of respectful dialogue. I would grant her decision to become a JW the respect it deserves, since she, as an adult, is free to decide. Their children, however, do not have the same freedom at this point in their lives. They rely on their parents for guidance, and the current division between Rick and Michelle is only hurting them. I would appeal to Michelle's love for her children, by asking that she afford them the continuity of Catholic practice while they are still minors. If as adults they freely choose to join their mother's faith, Rick should be as respectful of that decision as he currently is of Michelle's.

If Michelle remains opposed, I would then suggest to Michelle that she and Rick go to an arbitrator, through a community agency, and present their differences to just such an objective person, who is trained to resolve conflicts of all kinds. Both must agree to abide with the decision of the arbitrator beforehand. Therefore, Rick should have every friend and their aunts praying for extra support.

If all this fails, I'd call on the power of God to send white-hot lightning bolts on the patch of ground next to her.
Glenn Smith, Ann Arbor, MI

First, if all that Rick could do is strongly object to what his wife was doing, it would appear that he immediately drew a battle line. Good for clarity. Bad for husband-wife relations. Moreover, the above scenario seems to indicate that the situation is more symptomatic of something else, some sort of spiritual vacuum present in the life of each person. Right now they both appear to be doing little more than throwing ecclesial dishes at each other. But this is to add to the hypothetical, not answer the question.

One thing I might suggest is that the husband do a sustained study of the parable of the Prodigal Son from the perspective of the father.

I might also suggest he read a good bio of Sir Thomas More, whose son-in-law for a time was a somewhat venomous opponent of the Catholic Church, but was still welcomed into the More household.

Lastly, as this situation is symptomatic, I would suggest that Rick take a long look inside himself. Assuming that Michelle is a thoughtful person (and her study of JW material indicates she is), he may well have been complicit in her decision, for such decisions thoughtfully arrived at normally do not occur absent a wider context.
Peter Petite, Alexandria, VA

I would ask Michelle why it is that the Jehovah's Witnesses' New World Translation of the Bible translates John 1:1, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was a God" as opposed to the correct translation of the Greek, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God." An atheist who is capable of translating Greek will confirm the correct translation.

The JW doctrine contends that Jesus is the greatest of Jehovah's Witnesses, but He is inferior to Jehovah; He is not God. If their doctrine is true, then Jesus must have been confused about His own identity. In John 8:58, Jesus says to the Jews, " 'Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I AM.' So they took up stones to throw at him . . ." They wanted to kill Him because He made himself equal to God by using for Himself the divine name that God had given to Moses in the burning bush in Exodus 3:14: "Say this to the people of Israel, 'I AM has sent me to you.' "

And this is also why in John 5:18 John says, "This was why the Jews sought all the more to kill him, because he not only broke the sabbath but also called God his Father, making himself equal with God."

I would let Michelle wrestle with that.
Arthur Whitehorn, Dayton, OH

The foundation for Rick's approach must be prayer and fasting. Only through the help of the Holy Spirit will Rick be able to "break through" to Michelle's mind and heart.

With that foundation, Rick should then pursue thorough research of the JW doctrines, history and structure. Only through knowing the "enemy" will Rick be able to adequately address her concerns, and understand her rationale.

In particular, Rick should focus on the following two areas: 1) Research converts from the Watchtower. It is very beneficial to understand what has helped others to see the light. Use the common threads from their conversions (and use them in conversation with Michelle).

And 2) Compare and contrast the history of the Catholic Church with the history of the Watchtower. It's relatively easy to point to the lack of historical basis for the JW position on theological subjects that deviate from the Catholic Church's teaching.

Throughout this time, Rick must engage in thoughtful conversations with Michelle on the subject, never losing patience. Having emotional fights will definitely not help convert Michelle. Rick must keep in mind at all times that Michelle's very soul is at stake here. These conversations should focus on exploiting the weaknesses of the JWs (their theology and practices), while also focusing on the glory of the Bride of Christ, the Holy Roman Catholic Church.

Through it all, Rick needs to continue to demonstrate his love for Michelle, helping her keep her heart and mind open at all times to the work of the Holy Spirit.
Becky Faraj, Dearborn, MI



Next issue's scenario:

Susan, a 31-year-old housewife, wants to convince her pastor to host a weekend apologetics and evangelization seminar at the parish. She fell away from the Faith in college, but since then, she's become deeply committed to Christ and involved in her parish, and the catalyst was her attending a similar conference at a nearby parish a year earlier. Now she wants others to experience what she did. Msgr. O'Skeptic, her pastor, is reluctant to allow the conference. He says those sorts of things are "unecumenical" and "pre-Vatican II." Susan wants to help him see that, properly carried out, an evangelization conference would really enhance the parish's spiritual life. What should she do? What would you do?

E-mail your 200-word or less suggestion to mattjpinto@aol.com, or mail it to "What Would You Do?," Envoy Magazine, P.O. Box 640, Granville, OH 43023.