Nov/Dec 1996 - At Ease

AT EASE - THE EDITORS

Get that smirk on your face
People who are smart, attractive, and holy will think this page is really funny.

WARNING: Contents of this page should not be read by fuddy-duddies, wetblankets, stick in the mud, or Jasenists. Laughing, chortling, and smirking could result. DO NOT read this page if not in the state of sanctifying grace. If you enjoy the contents of this page, the ideas were conceived by the editorial staff of Envoy Magazine. If you do not enjoy them, the ideas are somebody else's.

Magazine concepts rejected by the editors before they chose Envoy: the bi-monthly journal of Catholic apologetics and evangelization:

Envy:
The bi-monthly journal of class warefare.

Encore!
The monthly journal of showbiz, concerts and Catholic apologetics.

Hahnvoy:
"All Scott Hahn" - all the time.

Convoy:
A journal of Catholic apologetics and trucking.

Ex-Con Voy:
The monthly magazine for Catholic evangelization and safecracking.

Bob's Big Voy:
The Catholic guide to restaurants and evangelization.

Yawnvoy:
The nation's most boring Catholic magazine (or whatever).

Comfy:
The magazine of Catholic apologetics and leisure wear.

Migraine:
A journal featuring articles you can't stand by writers you don't like in a style you can't read.

Envoyeur:
A monthly magazine to evangelize peeping Toms.

Lawnvoy:
The magazine of Catholic apologetics and lawn care products.

Oi Voy!
America's finest all-Yiddish magazine of Catholic apologetics.

5. Liquor license was revoked by those liars at the Alcoholic Beverage Commission.

6. Inspired to do so after purchasing the board game "My Very First Ministry!" by Kenner.

7. Wanted "express-route" to beatification.

8. Figured it was his best shot at getting his picture on the cover of Rolling Stone.

9. Whole thing was a fraternity dare that got out of hand.

10. Was his new identity under the Federal Witness Protection Program.

1. Sincerely wanted to serve the Lord through preaching the Gospel.

2. Was strongly encourage to do so by role models Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart.

3. Didn't make the cut at Raiders' tryouts.

4. Had to find some use for that Bible he won at the church carnival dime toss.

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